Fragmented Memories
by greenesdixon
Summary: A young girl, with hopes and dreams off a better world. A bruised redneck with a dark past and violent internal systems. Both are broken in one way or another. What happens when these two opposite souls collide? Will it be totally chaos or can they repair each other?
1. Into

One sweet innocent girl, one scarred redneck. They both are broken and shattered in different ways. What happened when the two opposites collide?


	2. Beth

I want to know. I want to know what drove me so insane that day he arrived on the farm. Maybe it's because he was different from my family, he was rebellious and free. He was everything and anything he wanted to be. And me..not so much. People tended to look down upon me, like a was a little kid always needing protection. They didn't understand, they didn't understand that all I need was for someone to show me what to do. Instead they kept me under lockdown, kept my curfews early. Just so I wouldn't accidently wander into trouble. But was he trouble? I've seen the way he walks, full of pride like he owns everything he looked at. And that interested me for some strange reason.  
>He was Daryl Dixon. All kinds of interesting. And who was I, you may ask. I was that girl, the farmer's daughter. The girl without anything to say. I was my dad's assistant, contacting everyone. He was fascinating, just the way he stood or the way he silently thought about the world and as for me, I was nothing compared to him. I hardly lived, but him. He's done everything I haven't, probably much more. It was wrong I know, I couldn't help myself at all from stealing glimpses at him every once in a while, even though daddy and Maggie would disapprove. Besides it didn't matter anyhow, Maggie was too love stricken with Glenn to even notice me. Some day I would talk to him, <em>someday<em>.  
>My head darted up at the sweet aroma of food, the smell giving of a nice feeling to me. For some reason I was really hungry today, and the smell only made my stomach cramp more. I heard a voice and immediately swung my head to the left, looking to my older sister, Maggie. She was saying something, and I was too lost in my own thoughts to hear it.<p>

"Come again." I said quietly, noticing the small words gained some eyes in the room.

I looked down at my empty plate, knowing I would get hammered for not listening. _Just do what you're supposed to_, was Maggie's favorite reprimand to tell me. I sighed deeply before glancing up again at my older sister. The look on her face was priceless, I was an unusual girl.

"Help Patricia carry out the food please." Maggie said quietly, even adding a please in there to make it sound better.

I nodded simply before pulling out my chair, interrupting the banter between everyone at the main table. I avoided the stares from some of the members, mainly Daryl's which stung the most. My eyes clung to the floor, ashamed of the person who I was. I made my way to the kitchen in the fastest way possible, soon looking up whenever I saw Patricia moving throughout the kitchen. She noticed me, and I quickly flashed a caramelized smile, hoping she wouldn't make the mistake of asking if I was okay or not.

"Maggie told me you needed some help." I looked up at her, noticing some of the dishes finally. Some contained freshly cooked baked potatoes, ham, and carrots.

"I can get the pan of veggies, if you want."

Patricia replied with a nod, "Of course, get what ever you think you can handle."

I went to pick the pan up carefully, making sure that I didn't accidently touch the metal part. I could only imagine how much that would have burned. As I heaved the pan off the counter, I couldn't help but to feel to full potency of my external weakness. If I couldn't hardly carry a dish out to the table, how was I supposed to kill one of those creatures out there? Maggie and daddy couldn't protect me from it, from what always happens. Whenever the farm is overrun, no one will be there to save her, she'll have to do it on her own. They'll be no time to cry, she couldn't crack under the pressure.  
>That's what worried me the most, I didn't want to face it.<br>I made my way out of the winding kitchen, the silence is the room was suffocating now. With the pan tucked tightly in between my crossed arms, I made my way over to the adult table. I sat the first plate in between Rick and Andrea, taking a few steps back to wait for them to successfully pass the plate around. I watched as everyone plopped a scoop of the cheesy carrots that Maggie had always been famous for making. But of course, none of these people could distinct it as that, all they saw it was as something that prevented them from starving.

I smiled at Andrea once she handed the dish back to me, seeing that everyone got a decent sized amount of it. Except for Daryl, he had less then the rest of them. I wanted to ask him why, badly, but why should I? Its not like he would have actually answered me. Then, I switched directions, to bring the rest of the food to the remaining people at the small table, including me. I had planned on making it there and then quietly sitting down. Unfortunately, things weren't going to go as smooth as I thought they would.  
>Daryl's chair was out more then I thought it would be or maybe I had imagined it. And of course clumsy me, I caught my foot on the edge of it and fell down on my knees to the floor. The blue dish shattered, the whole floor becoming a cheesy mess. <em>Because of me. <em>The shards of glass scattered across the floor, some of the carrots sticking partially to my shirt. I brushed them off, seeing all eyes on me again. _What was so interesting about me?_ Daryl's hurt the most, like he was almost mocking me. _Ha, you fell because of me._

I wanted to cry right then there, I wasn't going to lie. I had nothing to say, no way to make up for my stupidity. _Stupid girl, all you cause is trouble. You'd be better if you were gone_, I mumbled to myself in my mind. I _was_ stupid. I _was_ useless. I silently apologized to the people around me, it was all my fault. And what could I have done to stop it. Absolutely nothing. Idiot. I'm such an idiot.

"I'm so sorry." I mumbled, frantically trying to pick up the pieces. I gathered a few pieces of glass into one pile, reaching for the last piece. I must have grabbed it the wrong way, because it cut my palm whenever I picked it up. I didn't care about the cut I didn't care at all. I watched Maggie rush to help me, but I quickly flagged her away. I could pick up my own messes, I didn't need her to throw me a pity party.

"I got it, its my fault anyhow." I whispered to myself, not caring whether or not Maggie heard. Did Daryl try that? Did he want me to trip, did he want me to feel pain? I suddenly felt sick to the stomach, my heart breaking at the thought of him purposely trying to sabotage me. Why was I so effected like this? It's exactly what he wanted. The dirty, unthoughtful redneck got what he wanted, I hoped he was happy because of it. Making a fool out of me. Jimmy was the next to come up, nearly lifting me to my feet. That's when I couldn't control my tears anymore and some slipped down my face. I was making a scene out of something so little.

"I need to fix this." Blood ran down my arm, the coolness providing a serenity for me. I wanted to get away from everything, everyone. I wanted to feel the pain of a blade to my wrist like it needed to be. I had messed up, yet again. After I managed to shake Jimmy's grip loose, I bolted away from the huge scene. I was ready to cry and let it all go.

Once I arrived at the bathroom, I locked myself in, practically collapsing on the floor. I wanted to go, I wanted to go back with mom. Shawn. They would enjoy me up in heaven, if one such existed. I wasn't too sure anymore. After shakily standing up, I searched through the cabinet under the sink to find my blade. I threw out towels, my sobs racking my body so much that I could hardly breath. Where was it? I threw a roll of a toilet paper to the side, throwing another towel to the tile.

Did they know?

Beth couldn't focus. One of them must have found and stole it, hiding it somewhere safe where it was out of reach to her. She slammed the cabinet door shut, falling on her back and beginning to cry. Tonight was the night. There was no more ignoring it. Tonight, I was joining my family, wherever they were. Being gutted was no longer an option. I wanted to die my way. Not torn apart by drooling freaks.

"Beth sweetie. It's okay. You can come out, Patricia is cleaning it up." I heard Maggie from outside the door.

I sighed loudly, I had to pretend. Pretend I was okay, so that none of them would knew. It would happen, it would be quiet. It would be too late for them to save me. Maggie would be okay, eventually, she could lean on Glenn, Glenn would help support her. Daddy would be okay, he lost mom, he can definitely repair. I swallowed deeply before splashing water on her face, she could not let them see her crying. They would be suspicious again.

"Hold on, I'll be out in a minute." I said in the most normal voice I could muster.

Maggie stop worrying. I would be fine, everything would be fine tonight. After I dabbed my face with some water, I exited the room and quietly shut the door. Maggie smiled whenever she saw me and I falsely smiled back, if only she knew.

"I love you Maggie." I said before going in for a tight hug.

It was probably the last hug I would get before she died too, then we would both be at some sort of peace. Maggie escourted me back to the kid's table, seeing that my plate was already setup with food in each corner. I couldn't muster up enough strength to look at him directly, I wanted to him to know that I wasn't afraid of him. Okay, so maybe that was a tiny lie. But it still meant a lot. I took my seat back at the table, eating with my eyes directly down at my plate. I shoveled some potato onto my fork and ate a little bit of it. It didn't surprise me at all that I wasn't hungry at all, I just shoved everything that was on my plate around with my fork.

Nightfall couldn't have came sooner and I was ready for it. Everyone had decided to get some shut eye, for the long day they would have tomorrow. I secretly laughed at them, tonight was the night that I was going to a better place. A place with my mother and my brother. A place where I could be guaranteed safety. Here, I was nothing. I was just someone's burden. Maggie and daddy would be lying if they said they missed me. They'd be secretly glad, one less person to waste food on right?

After Maggie had tucked me in for the night, I crept down the stairs quietly. Any noise or sudden movement could have brought my whole plan down. And I was not giving in, no matter if daddy or Maggie sang their hearts out to me. It was my decision, I chose to go. My socks padded along the carpets as I swiftly made my way into the kitchen, to pick up another knife. I had it all planned out. First I would cut my wrists, watch the blood flow from my porcelain wrists. Then I would take some pills, to ease the pain. Maybe a few more then prescribed perhaps. Then I would go back to bed, get the best rest of my life. Then it would be all over.  
>Now that I had my first object on my list, the next was pain meds. Since I was so short at the time, I had to step up on the counter to reach the cabinet. I grinned a little once I reached the bottle, finding the last thing I needed. My justice was cut short whenever I tried to climb back down. The pills in the bottle scattered across the floor, in a colorful pattern.<p>

"No, no." I mumbled quietly to myself, hoping no one heard any of the events. As I hopped down from the counter quietly, I began to pick up the pills. One by one I placed them back into the container, trying to be as quick as possible.

I heard footsteps and nearly dropped the container all over again. _Don't even clean up the pills, just run to the bathroom. No one will know. Or if they do it will be too late. _I shot upwards, dropping all the pills I gathered in my hand. I only needed a couple, besides I was right, if they found the pills, it would be already too late. I nearly almost made my break until a figure in front of me, stopped my actions.

"Please..just let me go." I whined, like a tiny kid.

But who was that person? The only person who could possibly stop me now? It was him. It was the fascination I had always admired. It was Daryl Dixon.


End file.
